would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
