DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I would fuck him just for his dog
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
