So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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