I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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