So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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