Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
