last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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