There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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