I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
