I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
