I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
my liver is dry heaving
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
