just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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