Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
