So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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