so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
