I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
