thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
