I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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