I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
