I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
