He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
