You can't special order awesome
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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