how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
