My balls are so social today.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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