I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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