just come out here and I will go home with you...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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