where am i from again
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
