I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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