If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
