I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
