Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
