good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
