bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
