I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
