Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
