Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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