we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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