So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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