I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
