I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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