hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
