I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I puked a lego.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
