bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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