You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The Olympian is in my bed
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
