why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
