Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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