Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
