cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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