I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
