Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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